The Sunnydale Switch
by SpecialKay
Summary: A spell goes horribly wrong, and Willow's not the one doing the casting. What happens when Xander is in Spike's body, Anya is in Dawn's, and poor Dawn is in Giles'? Plus more! Please R+R!
1. The Spell

Xander lay in bed petrified. he was getting married in less than 24 hours. He couldn't do it. This was more than cold feet. He wasn't ready. He had to stop the wedding.   
He rose to his feet and snuck out of the apartment. When he was safely out of Anya's hearing range he broke into a run. He ran all the way to his car. Then he drove. He knew where he was going. The Magic Box. Even though it was after hours and the shop was closed he had the key.  
He let himself in and turned on the lights. He went to the books and pulled out a random one. Then he sat it on the table and opened to the middle.  
"Wow, I'm lucky," Xander said aloud as he read the bold letters indicating the title of the spell. "To make things as they're not."  
The spell went on to say he had to read aloud the words while burning a candle and thinking of how things should be.  
"That sounds easy enough," Xander said, then lit the candle and read the spell. "As life is no longer shall it be. As they see no longer shall they see. Reverse they are and now ever shall be."  
When Xander started reading the spell he though only of the words and him and Anya not getting married. Then he saw the word they and assumed that was to make everyone else forget they were engaged too. So he thought of all his friends: Buffy, Willow, Giles, Dawn, even Spike, as well as Anya.  
As soon as he finished the candle blew out and he passed out, falling onto the floor. 


	2. The Switch

When Xander awoke the next morning he didn't know where he was. But as he looked around it was obvious he was in a cave. No, a crypt. Spike's crypt.  
"Okay, what gives-" he began but stopped abruptly. "No way." Xander stood mouth open as he listened to his own voice.  
"This can't be happening," Xander said, still amazed. "I'm Spike." Xander couldn't accept what he himself was saying. He dashed frantically looking for a mirror.  
"Of course, why would a vamp-" Xander again stopped. "Oh-no. I'm the undead. I have a lust for blood. I have a chip in my head. How did this happen?" Xander continued to speak aloud.  
Then it clicked. The spell. 'Reverse they are now and ever shall be.'  
"Oh-no" Xander said again. "This is all my fault. I thought about the other people. But if I'm here in Spike's body, where's Spike?"  
Meanwhile in the Magic Box, Spike was slowly waking up. "Oh, bloody hell. How did I end up here?" He said out loud. He then leaped up and rushed to the counter. He pulled out the mirror he knew Anya kept under the register. When he looked into the mirror he saw something her hadn't seen in a long time. A reflection. But not his reflection. Xander's.  
"Oh bloody hell," he repeated. He immeadiately formed a theory of what happened. 'She's done it again,' he thought. 'Willow's done another spell and mess it up'.  
"I'm going to go give her a piece of my mind," he said angrily.  
When he saw it was daylight he hesitated. Then he remembered that he wasn't in his own body and slowly stepped out into the light. It didn't burn or anything. At first he was happy. Sunlight. He could live in the day for the first time in as long as he could remember. Well, except for that one time with the Gem of Amarra. Then he realized that he hated the sun. He liked being a vampire. He had to get to Willow quick and make her reverse this. He ran all the way to the Summers' house. When he got there he opened the unlocked door and entered. When entered he heard nothing. Could they all be asleep? It had to be at least 9:30.  
"Oh, Xander! I was so worried about you. When I went to sleep I was with you and when I woke up I was here in this body!" said the person who was obviously Anya but had the exterior appearance of Dawn Summers.  
"Anya?" Spike said.  
"Of course this is Anya! Who do I look like?"  
"Well, like Dawn actually," Spike replied Matter-of-Factly. "And for your information I'm not Xander. I'm Spike."  
"What?" Anya yelled in shock. "I'm in Dawn's body. I'm a 15 year old. I haven't been 15 for a thousand years! How do I act?"  
"Well, I'd avoid panicking for starters," he replied. "Especially at school."  
"School?!" Anya screamed. "I am not going to school!"  
"Look, I don't really care wheat you do. I just need to talk to the witch. Where's Willow?"  
"I don't know. When I woke up I came straight down here to wait for you-Not you but Xander, the you you look like."  
"Fine then," Spike said as he walked to the stairs.  
"Willow!" he screamed as loud as he could. 


	3. Who Are You?

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has given me reviews. It's loved very much. Please give more! (Gettin' greedy...tee-hee)  
Also, sorry the chapters are a bit short. I have them written on notebook paper and the cut-off places are at places that make sense. The next chapters SHOULD be a bit longer.  
  
A few moments later someone was dashing down the stairs, but to Spike's disappointment the girl running toward him wasn't Willow. Then, as he thought it over, it probably was Willow just in the wrong body. He starred in amazement. Then the current silence that had formed in the house as "Buffy" ask "What's wrong?"  
"You're Buffy," Anya said.  
"Dawn, are you okay? I'm Willow."  
"Look in a mirror," Anya instructed her.  
Willow walked away and a minute later came back panicked.  
"What happened?" she demanded.  
"That's what I'd like to know," Spike replied. "Done any spells lately?"  
"No...Well ytah. But nothing big. Nothing that could cause this," Willow explained.  
"Then who did?" Anya asked.  
"Well I suggest we find them soon so we can switch back. The sooner I get out of this body the better," Spike added.  
"What's wrong with that body? I'm marrying that-" Anya started but then screamed. "Oh no! The wedding! I can't get married looking like this!"  
"I think the wedding will have to be postponed," Willow said.  
"No! Not my wedding!" Anya screamed.  
"Dawn! Stop yelling!" came a voice from upstairs.  
"It has to be Buffy," Anya said, calming down a little. "Or maybe Dawn."  
"Let's see." Spike said, then yelled, "Buffy?"  
"Of course it's me," Buffy responded.   
"Check the mirror," Spike instructed.  
"Xander, what are you talking about?"  
"Just do it. And for the record, I'm Spike. Not Xander."  
"That's impossible," Buffy said, then causually glanced over seeing Willow. "How did this happen?" she asked immediately.  
"That's what we'd like to know," Spike answered.  
"If you're really Spike, then..." Buffy trailed off.  
"Willow," stated the one that looked like her while raising a hand.  
"I'm Anya," added the girl who looked like her sister, extending a hand as if to shake. When Buffy didn't respond she pulled it back.  
"Where's Dawn?" Buffy asked. As Anya opened her mouth to speak she added, "The real Dawn." Anya again retracted her hand.  
"No one else is here," Willow said.  
"Well I fell asleep at Xander's apartment and woke up here, so she probably woke up somewhere else- in her new body," Anya imformed.  
"We have to find her. Now." Buffy headed for the door. They all began to follow when the door bell rang.  
Buffy was going to answer it when it swung open.  
"It's me! Well, obviously not me, but-" Anya began by Buffy cut her off mid-sentence.  
"Dawn!?"  
"No, I'm afraid not," said the inhabitant of Anya's body.  
"Then who are you?" Buffy demanded.  
"Giles." 


	4. Not So Simple

A/N Sorry about the short chapters. As for the lack of detail, I wrote this entire fic between classes and focussed mainly on the dialogue. It took me a long time, but it's finished. I'm just now posting it. I'll put it up a chapter or two at a time for a couple of weeks. Thanks for being patient.  
  
---Specialkay  
  
"Giles?" Anya said from behind Buffy. "I thought you were in England."  
  
"I was, but I flew back for the wedding." Giles explained.  
  
"Where were you before you switched?" Buffy asked urgently.  
  
"I was on a plane, coming here, why?" He answered and asked in the same sentence, curious as to why Bufffy was so interested.  
  
"Dawn might be there. We'll split up. Giles, you and Willow take the airport. Anya and Spike will take Spike's crypt and I'll check around town. Meet at the Magic Box." With that, Buffy was gone, running down Revello drive at top speed. The rest of the Scoobies exited the house as well, spliting up as they reached the end of the drive way.  
  
"I'm over here." Came a voice from the corner.  
  
"Xander?" Anya said as she walked toward the voice.  
  
"Yeah. And just let me say that Spike is the single dullest person I know." Xander said, emerging from the shadows.  
  
"Oh, I am, am I?" Spike said as he approached Xander.  
  
"No." Xander whined. "He's me."  
  
"Yeah, well I'm not exactly jumping for joy myself. Is my hair really that blonde?"  
  
"Yeah, it is. Look in a mirror sometime- oh wait you can't." Xander said in a mocking tone to Spike.  
  
"Will you two stop arguing? Xander and I are going to be late for our own wedding if we don't hurry."  
  
"Anya, if we try to get married today we'll be a 15 year old and a pile of dust." Xander reminded Anya, who sadly nodded in reluctant agreement.  
  
"Let's get back to the Magic Box and work on finding a counter spell. The sooner I get out of this body the better." Spike announced.  
  
"Hello. Sunlight." Xander reminded.  
  
Spike sighed and grabbed a brown blanket from the table in the corner of the room. The twit had seen him use it enough that it should have been obvious to him, but then again Spike had to remind himself how stupid Harris could be.  
  
Xander felt stupid. He'd seen Spike use that same scorched, brown blanket at least a hundred times.  
  
"Throw this over you and stay out of direct sunlight." He said, tossing the blanket to Xander who hesitated a moment before putting it over him. He wasn't sure he trusted it to keep safe. Boy some sun block would be good right about now, maybe SPF 3000 would work, he thought.  
  
With that the three of them set off for the Magic Box.  
  
Mean while Willow and Giles were just arriving at the airport to look for Dawn or possibly Xander. After a moment of searching they realized there was no way they would ever spot Giles' body in the crowd.  
  
"I'll just do a spell." Willow said, then seeing the worry in Giles' eyes she added, "It's not dangerous or anything. It just parts the crowd to reveal the one you're looking for. It doesn't even physically part them, it's just an illusion that only the person who casts it can see. "  
  
"Alright then, but quickly." Giles agreed somewhat reluctantly.  
  
"Partimus." Willow said while waving her hand.  
  
"Did you see?" Giles asked.  
  
"No." Willow replied, then tried again. "Partimus." Still nothing. "My powers aren't working." She explained the obvious.  
  
She gazed around the airport, wondering what could have happened to her powers, and realizing they'd have to do this the hard way.  
  
"Let's check the bathroom." She said at last. "You take the men's room incase it's Xander and I'll take the women's incase it's Dawn." She directed.  
  
"Okay." Giles agreed, not thinking about the fact that he was in a women's body.  
  
They walked to the restrooms. Willow tugged at the heavy metal doors, which had always been hard for her to open, but it came open with ease. In fact it camme right off it's hinges. Willow merely stood there in shock as Giles came running.  
  
"You obviously have the strength of the slayer." Giles said.  
  
"Really? I never would have guessed." Willow's reply dripped with sarcasm.  
  
"Hey, that was locked." Came a voice from the bathroom.  
  
"Dawn?" Willow said, barely able to keep a straight face as she watched the person who looked like Giles, the stuffy old British man she'd known for six years, sitting, curled up on the floor of the women's bathroom sobbing.  
  
"Buffy!?" Dawn mumble through tears.  
  
"Not exactly Dawnie." Willow started to explain. "I'm Willow and this is Giles." She said gesturing to the figure behind her.  
  
"What happened to me?" Dawn asked, still crying. "I fell asleep in my own bed and my own body and when I woke up I was on an airplane in Giles' body."  
  
"Well we don't really know what happened. This morning we all woke up in each other's bodies." Willow explained softly, so the ever growing crowd would hear.  
  
"Well I want out." Dawn said as she stood up.  
  
"The Magic Box will be the best place to find out what's wrong." Giles piped in.  
  
"You don't say." Dawn replied in a tone much like Willow's only moments earlier.  
  
With that the three of them headed to the magic box.  
  
When they arrived Spike, Xander, and Anya were already there.  
  
"Giles?" Xander asked.  
  
"Yes." Giles answered.  
  
Xander chuckled. "Then it's true, you really did get put in Anya's body… but in a manly way of course." Xander changed his tone mid-sentence after seeing the ultra pissed look Giles was throwing him.  
  
"Is that little bit?" Spike asked pointing at Dawn.  
  
"Yeah, it's me." Dawn said weakly. She felt stupid, she wished she'd have gotten Buffy's body or Willow's, heck she'd settle for Xander or Spike, anyone but Giles. "Where's Buffy?"  
  
"Out looking for you." Anya answered quickly.  
  
"She'll be back soon." Willow assured her. Then, to Spike Xander and Anya she asked, "Any luck with a reversal spell?"  
  
Xander looked at the ground. He knew this was his fault and that the reversal spell would probably be in the same book the spell he had cast was in, but he was to scared to tell them. He had spent the afternoon looking through many books, but specifically avoiding the one he had used the night before. He would pick it up casually after awhile so no one would be suspicious of him. He closed the book he'd been thumbing through and reached for the book he needed. As he did Anya said something very disturbing.  
  
"I've already looked through that book twice, there's nothing in there. Well there were several spells that could have caused this, but no reversal spells.  
  
"Oh…" Xander answered, feeling sick. Up until now he'd thought returning to his own body would happen by the end of the night, but now he didn't know. 


	5. the Bathroom

"If we knew what spell caused it we might be able to do a reversal spell." Giles said later that night after a long day of research.  
  
"I think I've narrowed it down to three choices. The first one is called the Traveler's Spell, it allows the user to travel into to other people's bodies, if an amateur tried it, this could happen. The next is the spell 'To Make Things As They're Not'. It takes great concentration and could easily go wrong." Willow explained to the rest of the Scoobies. Xander flinched as she said this. "And the third title is in Latin, but I think it could be used to switch bodies." Willow finished, looking pleased that she had narrowed it down so far.  
  
"It has to be someone who knows us or wants to target us." Buffy said in her ultra-serious slayer tone.  
  
"Maybe Willow did it… an accident like that forgetful spell." Anya suggested.  
  
"Will, have you done any spells lately?" Buffy asked her best friend, she got the wiggins as she looked in to her own eyes. She couldn't wait to get back into her own body, to get home.  
  
"A few, but nothing big, I swear. The last spell to give me a hair day. It was really bad yesterday." She stopped when she realized how stupid she sounded, invoking the dark forces for good hair.  
  
"Maybe it was Tara." Xander said, trying to buy time before they suspected him. After all he had summoned that demon who made everyone sing and dance.  
  
"No, she would never do that." Willow said, defending her former lover.  
  
"Maybe she was mad-." Buffy was cut off by Dawn.  
  
"No, Willows right. Tara would never do that."  
  
"Dawn, people do a lot of things when they're hurt." Buffy said, trying to be comforting.  
  
"We should probably go see how Tara is, maybe get some answers." Giles suggested.  
  
"Good idea." Buffy agreed. "She trusts Dawn so Anya, you go. And Willow, you have the slayer strength so you-."  
  
"I won't do it." Willow said.  
  
"Then Xander, you go. You have the vampire strength right now." Buffy instructed.  
  
"O-okay." Xander answered. He'd have to come up with a plan, spy on Tara and protect Anya. This would be easy-if he were Superman.  
  
Xander and Anya left for Tara's dorm. As they walked Xander thought about what he could do. He couldn't think of a thing, other than tell the truth and he really didn't want to do that. When they got to Tara's dorm they knocked on the door, moments later it opened to reveal Tara's familiar face.  
  
"Hi." She said, obviously happy to see Dawn, then she frowned slightly when she saw Spike standing beside her.  
  
"Hi, I'm Dawn. I'm a 15 year old girl and do not work at the Magic Box because I go to school everyday." Anya said.  
  
"Yeah… okay." Tara replied slowly, confused but still happy to see a friendly face.  
  
"And this is Spike. He's a vampire and we are not getting married." Anya added, digging herself deeper without thinking.  
  
"Dawnie, are you okay?" Tara asked. "Do you wanna come in and sit down?" Anya walked in and Tara added "You too Spike."  
  
Xander walked in and sat next to Anya on Tara's bed.  
  
Tara sat at her desk after closing and re-locking the door. The three sat in awkward silence for what seemed like an hour. Finally Anya spoke. As Xander heard her begin he was relieved, then what he heard what she had to say he longed for the silence to return.  
  
"May we go to the bathroom." Anya asked.  
  
"Excuse me?" Tara responded, obviously confused at "Dawn's" question.  
  
"She means her, as in alone, and not with me." Xander added in a hurry.  
  
"No I mean both of us. Together, but without you." Anya corrected.  
  
"Umm… I guess, if you really want to. It's that way." Tara pointed to a door on the opposite wall. She was lucky enough to have her own bathroom.  
  
"Umm… we'll be right back." Xander said quickly as he followed Anya to the bathroom.  
  
"why did you do that?" he demanded as soon as the bathroom door was closed, then realizing he was probably talking loud enough for Tara to hear despite the closed door between them he lowered his voice. "She's going to know something's up."  
  
"No she won't." Anya assured him.  
  
"what did you want?" Xander asked, he apparently wasn't going to convince Anya that she was on the brink of blowing their cover.  
  
"Well, I just don't know what to say." Anya explained.  
  
"Just find out if she cast that spell and please remember to be tact- ." Xander was cut-off by a knock at the door.  
  
"Are you okay in there?" It was Tara.  
  
"Yeah, we're just fine." Xander replied, he was just about to open the door when Anya interrupted.  
  
"We should flush the toilet, maybe turn the shower on and get our hair wet, so she thinks we did something."  
  
"No An the less she thinks is going on the better."  
  
But he was too late. Anya had already flushed the toilet and turned on the shower. She picked up a cup that was sitting on the sink, filled it with water, and splashed it in Xander's face. Then she refilled it and poured water on her head.  
  
"Anya, I told you not to do that." Xander said, wiping his face with a towel he found hanging by the door.  
  
"I will not be overpowered by a man!" Anya said, sounding very much like a recording. "I heard that on Oprah-right after the dancing dog."  
  
Xander just rolled his and opened the door before Anya could do any more damage. Behind him he heard Anya turn the shower off and place the cup back on the sink. He walked out preparing himself for more explaining. As he strutted trying his best to look like Spike, he tripped over Tara's backpack and landed flat on his face.  
  
"Are you okay?" Tara asked worriedly rushing over to him.  
  
"Who me? Of course I'm fine. I'm a vampire. Nothing can hurt me. Well except for a stake through the heart, some sunlight, and decapitation, but other than that I'm invincible boy." Xander said without realizing he was as bad as Anya until he'd already said too much. He stood up trying to look all suave and Spike-like, and returned to tar's bed. Anya was already sitting there calmly. When both xander and Tara had sat back down she spoke.  
  
"Speaking of spells and body switches, did you cause us all to switch bodies in an elaborate plan of getting back at Willow?"  
  
At that moment Xander felt like he was going to die. Anya had blown their cover and now they were trapped in the clutches of an evil fiendish witch capable of destroying the world. Okay so it was just Tara, but magic all the same and her eye had always bugged him. Like when she got nervous and it just twitched and twitched and- okay time to calm down. He was being irrational. He decided to just wait and see what she said.  
  
"You guys are just joking right?" Tara asked after a minute.  
  
"No-." Anya began, but Xander quickly finished for her.  
  
"No way would we lie to you. Of course it's a joke, just me and er umm… little umm little… bit that's what I call her, Little Bit. Well it was just our idea of a joke, we were bored, sorry."  
  
"But-." Anya began but again Xander cut her off.  
  
"But thanks anyway for having us." He had to think quickly or Anya would really blow their cover. Strike that, she'd already blown their cover, but they were on the brink of no cover at all.  
  
Then Xander did the only thing he could think of. He picked up one of the heaviest textbooks Tara owned and hit Anya over the head. Hard. Then came the mind splitting pain.  
  
"Ow. Ow. It hurts. It hurts really really bad. You happen to have a magic Band Aid or-." Xander stopped when he noticed that Tara wasn't looking at him but the unconscious figure that looked like dawn. He had to think quick.  
  
"Wow, are you okay?" He asked the bewildered Tara. She backed away when he spoke. "You should really burn that book, it attacked An-Dawn. It's possessed!!!" He picked Anya up and ran out the door screaming "Killer book!!! Killer book!!!"  
  
"When he was out of Stevenson Hall he looked behind him. Luckily Tara hadn't followed him. She was probably back in her dorm room examining the book like that stoned chick with the banana in Can't Hardly Wait. 


	6. Alone with All the Vampires

He carried Anya all the way to the Magic Box. When he entered Giles rusehed to him along with Dawn.  
"Is She okay?" "What happened?" "Was it a demon?"  
The questions came all at once.  
"Yes, she's fine, book to the head, and no, it was me," he replied.  
"Why?" Dawn asked.  
"Because she was about to tell Tara all about the spell," he explained.  
"So you hit her with a book?" Giles asked, not quite believing what Xander told him.  
"That plan was a lot betting in my head," Xander explained as he placed Anya on a nearby table. "Where's Buffy and Will?"  
"Willow's in the back researching and Buffy went to patrol," Dawn explained.  
"But she's in Willow's body, she doesn't have the whole Slayer Strength thing going for her," Xander said, suddenly feeling worried.  
"We tried to tell her but she insisted on going," Dawn explained again.  
"Did she say where she was going?" Xander asked, hoping he could get to her before she got herself killed.  
"No, and she said not to follow her," Dawn informed him.  
"Did she say anything about looknig for her?"  
"Well.no," Dawn replied.  
"Then I'm in the clear."  
"But looking for was heavily implied as a 'don't'," Dawn cautioned.  
"But was it specifically forbidden?"  
"No."  
"Then like I said, I'm in the clear," Xander said and walked out, Spike's duster doing that awesome "Angel Flare" thing.  
He walked down the desserted street wondering where Buffy was and if she was okay. Normally, such worries never would have crossed his mind, but Buffy was used to venting her anger on vamps and demons and now that she lacked her Slayer Strength she might-well Xander didn't want to think about what could happen.  
Meanwhile, back at the magic box, Anya was stirring. She blinked her eyes slowly and looked around her.  
"Oh no, I fell asleep at work," she muttered to herself. "Xander, where are you? I had the weirdest dream. I was Dawn and you were Spike and.I think you hit me with a book."  
"Anya.?" came a voice from behind the stacks.  
"Giles, oh I'm glad I'm not the only one here.is this England or did you come home?"  
"Real funny Anya. Now that you're awake you can help me research. Did you find out anything when you went to Tara's?"  
"Research what? And what about Tara?"  
"Oh my God, that's gonna leave a mark," "Giles" said, touching Anya's left temple. "And you know who gets stuck with the hideeous red mark? Me, that's who. I'm gonna kill Xander."  
"Wow, how long have I been asleep? Wait, was my dream.real?" She said, frantically running to the counter. She grabbed her mirrorand screamed. "Oh no, no, no, no. Well at least I'm not stuck in Giles' body." She said with acomplete lack of tact.  
"Just help me research, I really want out of this old wrinkled." she trailed off. "He's right behind me isn't he?"  
"No that's me.oh wait, yeah, he's right behind you."  
Giles made strange clucking sound before speaking, "Well, I'm not exactly fond of this body either, which reminds me, Anya, did you know you have mole on your-?"  
"Mole? What mole? Moles are gross, which I am not. Therefore I have no mole."  
At Anya's obvious attempts tp get off the subject, "Right, well back to researching."  
  
Meanwhile, Xander had tracked Buffy to a graveyard, using his inate sense of traking. Well that and following the big piles of dust. Then he saw her, fighting two big vamps at once. She appeared to be trapped in the middle of them, but suddenly she did a backflip that placed her on the outside of the battle-but not for long. The two vamps chased after her. She jumped put of the way just in time for the larger of the two to fun into a tree, impaling himself with a branch. The smaller vampire paused for a moment at what had happened to his companion, but a moment was all Buffy needed. In a flash she was behind him and a stake was through his heart. Just watching Buffy slay made his head hurt. He knew there was no way he could do that everyday. When he finally worked up the nerve, her approached her. He walked quietly up behind her and as he was about to tap her on the shoulder, got the warm welcome of a high cresent kick to the head. He fell to the ground but Spike's hard head had protected him from a concussion. He staggered to his feet, half expecting another blow to the head. But he was happy t osee that this time he remained standing. "I told Dawn no one was supposed to follow me," She said without an ounce of sympathy for his punding head. "I didn't follow you-I followed the piles of dust and wow! To my showck and amazement, here you are," he said in saracastic amawment. "I was just worried about you," he said, changing his tone to that of concern. "I can take care of myself,"she retorted, walking away. "Yeah usually. But, Buffy, right now you're not the Slayer. I saw that fight, you didn't get away until the last second." "I just need to think.alone." "Alone with all the vampires?" he asked quizically. "Xander." Buffy started, then stopped. "Let's go," she added at last. Together they walked off. Not even Buffy sensed that someone was following them. 


	7. Did not infinity!

When they arrived at the Magic Box, everyone seemed egar at their arrival.  
"Guess what!" Anya said as soon as they entered, "we almost know what spell it was!"  
"Really?" Xander said with zest. 'Wow that was mighty zesty,' he thought after saying it. The he thought, 'Wow, zesty is a cool word. I should say it sometime.'  
"Yeah," Dawn continued for Anya. "Giles trans-."  
"Hey, I was supposed to tell them! Remember, we drew straws and I won."  
"But I won the coin toss," Dawn protested.  
"But you agreed to a rematch in the form of drawing straws."  
"I didn't agree, you went and got the straws and-."  
"Well that doesn't matter. I still won fair and square," Anya defended quickly.  
"No you didn't. I won first but you said we get on try for each hundred years we've been alive. Even then it took you twenty minutes to draw the short straw," Dawn argued.  
"Did not," Anya whined.  
"Did to," Dawn pouted.  
"Did not."  
"Did to."  
"Give it up shorty, I've had a thousand years of practice," Anya bragged.  
"Well I have whining skills that can crack a slayer," Dawn retorted.  
"Did not,"Anya continued.  
"Did to," Dawn folled the pattern.  
"Did not."  
"Did to."  
The others starred in amusment.  
"I've got five bucks that say Anya wins," Xander whispered to Buffy.  
"You're on, Dawn is the champion of this," Buffy answered.  
"My money is on Anya as well," Giles added.  
"Oh Giles, a betting man. I never would have guessed," Xander teased.  
"Did not," they returned their attention to the argument.  
"Did to."  
"Did not."  
"Did to."  
"Did not infinity."  
"Pay up," Xander said puttinghis hand out, ready for payment. Giles was more diginified.  
"I believe Xander and I won," he said.  
Then from Dawn and Anya's direction, "Did to double infinity."  
"I think the bet is still on guys," Buffy said smiling.  
"Did not triple infinity," Anya said.  
"Did to quadruple infinity," Dawn answered.  
"Did not, um...five times infintiy."  
"HA!" Dawn and Buffy screamed in unison.  
"You broke the chain," Dawn said, glowing.  
"What chain?" Anya asked.  
"You should have sazid quintuple," Dawn corrected. "You said five times," Buffy said. "Therefore you lose, I win." "I believe you lose," Buffy said in her best Giles impression. Then mimicing Xander, "Pay up." Giles and Xander both reach for their wallets, but realize their wallets are still with their bodies. "Er, I'll go get five dollars from the register," Giles said walking to the counter. "I'll just get Spike to give me my wallet," Xander started. "By the way, where is the old vamp?" "I don't know, I haven't seen him in hours. Or Willow," Dawn answered. "We better find them," Buffy said immediately. "Yeah, let's split up," Xander suggested. "Buffy, you go with Giles and I'll take Dawn—." "No," Buffy said. "Okay, you take Dawn and I'll go with the G-man." "No, that's not it—," She explained. "Oh Buffy, I'm flattered. You couldn't have realized you felt this way six years ago?" Xander joked. "Hey," Anya said. "Oh right, Anya! She can be in my group too," he added. "No, it's Dawn," Buffy said. "Oh my God Buffy, get over the protective vibe already," Anya blurted. "Buffy's right. There's some new bad in town, Dawn should stay here," Xander said. Then, at Dawn's hurt look, "As head researcher." Dawn wasn't exactly jumping for joy, but at least that 'I'm gonna kill you' look was gone. "Okay, Anya stay with her. Giles, Xander, come with me," Buffy commanded. "As soon as the three had left, Anya screamed, "Ha!" "What?" Dawn asked.  
"You never got to tell them!" "I'll tell them when they come back," Dawn answered with a look of worry. "No, I will," Anya argued. "Nu uh, I will." "Wait, let's settle this in a mature way," Anya said, sounding very calm and responsible. She thought for a moment, then said, "Okay, I've got it. Whoever can spin around in a circle the longest without falling down wins." "You're on!" Dawn said without hesitation. The two began twirling, but didn't notice as the door slowly opend. The man crept in without even glancing at them. He knew these people, they'd probably be in the back buried in stacks of books doing research to learn the cause of the current mischief. They probably blamed it on some demonic force. They had no idea it was magic. He intended to learn more of they did know by listening in on them. He turned to go toward the back of the building but what he saw made him fall to the floor with laughter. The laughing made the girls stop spinning. They glances at the man on the floor. "Robber!" Anya cried. "He wants my money; he must be stopped!" The man slowly forced himself upright. "Ripper, tell the child I'm no robber," he said between giggles. "What did he say?" Dawn asked Anya worriedly. "I think he's speaking in code," Anya answered. "Quick, get me something heavy to hit him with." "Right, but we have to keep him down," Dawn replied. "Leave that up to me," Anya said and ran over to Ethan. She leaned down beside him and started tickling. Luckily for her, he was very ticklish. "Ripper, call the girl off," he said looking around. Meanwhile, Dawn was looking for something heavy. First she thought of the troll hammer, but she knew it was too heavy, she couldn't even lift it. Then she saw a statue; it was bronze and dipicted a topless Sumarian goddess. She picked it up, it seemed heavy enough but she worried about breaking it in the process of pummeling him. "Is this valuable?" She asked, holding it high above her head so Anya could see. "Nah, I bought it at a garage sale, looks ancient though, doesn't it?" "So not valuable then?" Dawn doubled checked. "Nope," Anya yelled back. "Okay," Dawn said shrugging. She walked carefully over to Anya and the stranger. She positioned the statue above his head and let go. She and Anya jumped back at the crash made by the falling statue. Slowly and timidly, they approached the now listless body. "Is he dead?" Dawn asked, her eyebrows furrowed in fear. "If he is, you did it," Anya said. "Well...you're an accessory," Dawn retaliated. "Well, I'll plead insanity." "Can't argue with that," Dawn mumbled audibly. "Thank you—hey wait. Not thank you. Infact, the opposite of thank you," she babbled. "Anya! What are we going to do?" Dawn panicked. "We can say he killed himself." "Suicide? How does this look like suicide?" "Well...we'll say he walked in here thinking we were a gun shop. Yeah, and when he realized we weren't he picked up the statue and held it over his head. Oh, we tried to stop him; we said, 'No, don't do it! I'm sure we can work this out! You have so much to live for!' but there was no stopping him. No sir-ee. He said, 'No, it's too late for me. Good bye cruel world!' and he dropped the statue on his head," Anya took a deep breath, "How's that?" "Well, that story will certainly help with the insanity plea," Dawn answered, but Anya ignored her insult. "Wait! We didn't kill him!" "He's alive!?" Dawn cried hopefully. "No. The police will think you and Giles did it, so I won't go to jail. Yay!" Anya beamed. "But how does that help me?" Dawn gave her a pleading look. "You're a minor, they can't put you in jail. They'll probably take you away from Buffy though. And that might be a good thing, I mean what kind of guardian would let you kill a man? Tsk tsk Buffy," Anya shook her head in shame. Dawn was about to argue with Anya again when the figure stirred. "Thank God, he's alive," dawn said with relief, but her happiness was suddenly cut short. "Yes, thank God," Anya said, then picked up the head of the statue which was amazingly still in tact and smashed it on his head. "Oh no, he's dead again!" She then screamed. "You hit him again! How could you?!" Dawn yelled. "It wasn't my fault, it was this body, it had some kind of spasm,: Anya defended herself with lies. "That body is just fine," Dawn said, then turned to the motionless body. She bent over and checked his pulse. "He's still alive," She said again with relief. "Let's tie him up," Anya said cheerfully. "Okay," Dawn said, her mood brightening. "Help me put him in that chair. Anya and Dawn hoisted the man into a nearby chair. Then Anya went to get rope, leaving Dawn to find Duct tape. When they returned with their supplies, Dawn asked, "Were you ever in girl scouts?" "No, but I did take vengeance on a group of boy scouts—the girls sent me—it was so funny, they were camping and—." "Nevermind," Dawn said, wishing she hadn't asked. "I'll tie the ropes myself. You tape his mouth, then tape his arms and legs to the chair. We don't know how strong he is so use a lot." "Okay," Anya said happily. Dawn proceeded to tie complex knots, securing him to the chair. "When they get back, I get to tell them," Anya announced. "No way," Dawn answered. "I hit him." "So? I hit him before you did." "Yeah...but I told you to, so it doesn't count," Anya smiled at her own logic. "So...I picked what to hit him with," Dawn smile triumphantly. "I taped him." "I tied him." "I'm older." "I'm younger." "I get to tell them!" Anya whined. "Do not!" "Do too!" "Do not!" "Do too!" 


End file.
